broadwaykarkat:

Here’s a little something just for fun! Why yes, I am gunning for this role. She’s one of my favorite characters.

Lyrics are based on this post here.

I voiced Her Imperious Condescension and Broadway Jake voiced Dirk. Confused yet? Good <3

——-

CONDESCE 
Well, well, well, what have we here? 
The Prince of Heart, huh? 
Oh, I’m really scared 
So you’re the human who’s woken up on Derse, ha, ha, ha 
You’re joking, you’re joking 
Let me see your eyes 
You’re joking me, you must be 
This can’t be the right guy 
He’s anime, he’s yaoi 
I don’t know which is worse 
I guess I’ll have to knock him off 
His highest, princely horse 

When the new Black Queen says 
You’re going to fail your mission 
You should pay attention now 
‘Cause I’m the Condescension
And if you aren’t bowing
There’s something very wrong 
Because I won’t let you get away
Once you’ve heard the Condesce song, 

Obey 

JACK NOIR 
Obey

CONDESCE
Obey

DRACONIAN DIGNITARY 
Obey

CONDESCE
Obey 

DRACONIAN DIGNITARY 
Obey the Condescension

CONDESCE
Well if I’m feeling crafty 
And I’ve found that you’re awake 
I might just bake a special batch 
Of alpha children cake
And don’t you know the dreamer 
That makes the whole thing work? 
A Crocker cake is not complete without a little Dirk 

DRACONIAN DIGNITARY 
Obey 

CONDESCE
Oh, yes 

JACK NOIR
Obey

CONDESCE
Ohhh 

JACK NOIR
Obey  

CONDESCE 
Oh, yes, I’m the Condescension  

DIRK
You like to think you're the mastermind?
Well /I'm/ alive so /you're/ behind.
Ya can't restrain the Strider bane,
Cuz news flash Pinky, I'm the Brain.

CONDESCE
You’re joking, you’re joking 
I can’t believe this boy 
Lord English, are you hearing this? 
This nonsensical ploy 
It’s pathetic, it’s tiring 
Your blood is just so low 
So now, I think it's about time 
That I turn you into dough 

DIRK 
Every human has this blood color...

CONDESCE
I guess that means you all should die then. Ha ha.

Ohhhhhh 

On 2x3 prong day 
The whole world’s fate was sealed  
Because I’m a mean Dersite Queen
And I change the playing field
It’s much more fun, I must confess 
When the advantage becomes all mine 
I’ll take you all out, one by one 
And this game’ll turn out fine  

DIRK 
Just abandon your goals
Oh Queen of Trolls
You're on the shit list of the destroyer of souls

CONDESCE
Oh, human, you’re something 
The facade that you present 
Only shows that you just do not know 
Who you are up against
It’s worse than you imagine 
You haven’t got a prayer 
How do you expect to outrun him 
When he is already there?

Ha ha ha
Good luck~

DIRK
Suck my dirk... 

EDIT:

FUCK MY LIFE I SPELLED CONDESCENSION WRONG IN THE ORIGINAL POST FUCK FUCK FUCK